Life Reversal ~ I Was Cheated On and Falsely Accused, but Now the Most Beautiful Girl in the School Is Getting Close to Me ~ Volume 1 Chapter 4
Chapter 4
Kitchen Aono
We managed to escape from school and made our way toward my house, a ten-minute walk from there. Once we’d put some distance between us and the school grounds, we stopped to catch our breath.
“Haa, haa… You okay?”
“Yes,” she panted. “Keeping up with a guyrunning at full sprint was as tough as I expected.”She slowly let go of my hand.
“The fact that you kept up at all is amazing, you know.”
Come to think of it, I’d heard she’d been scouted by various clubs but turned them all down. Still, she occasionally helps out and performs like an ace.“That’s not true at all,” she said.
Our damp uniforms were beginning to dry under the clear sky, which was a relief. We both instinctively smoothed down our messy hair.
“Well then, shall we get going?” I asked.
“But, Senpai,” she began, puffing her cheeks out in a slight pout. “I think you’re teasing me a bit too much… Either you’re hopelessly bad at explaining things, or you’re doing it on purpose. It has to be one of the two, right?”
“Probably the former.”
That was a lie. I had intentionally created the misunderstanding.“Liar.”
She saw right through me. As we joked around, we finally arrived at our destination. It felt like we’d hit it off like old friends, probably because we’d stared death in the face together.
Kitchen Aono—my home and family’s Western-style restaurant.
My late father was a chef. After training at a famous hotel and saving up, he opened his own place in this town. He fell in love with my mom, who worked at the hotel’s front desk, and they started the restaurant together. Dad preferred home-style cooking over formal course meals, so our signature items are comforting dishes like Omurice, Hamburg Steak, and Beef Stew.
Before he passed away from an illness, he entrusted a notebook of his secret recipes to my older brother. Now, my brother, a culinary school graduate, is doing his best as the second-generation owner, while my mother handles the accounting and serving.
“I’m home.”
It wasn’t crowded yet, being just before noon. This area is an office district, so it gets pretty hectic during the lunch rush.
“Oh, welcome back. You’re early,” my mom greeted me, a surprised look on her face. She calls herself the restaurant’s “poster girl,” and honestly, she looks young enough for it—she could easily pass for her twenties, about half her actual age, even with her short hair and light makeup for work.
“Yo, welcome back,” my brother’s voice called out from the kitchen.
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling well, so I left early,” I explained. “Then I ran into a junior from my school who was also heading home, so I invited her for lunch.”
“Oh, is that so? Playing hooky, are we? You’ve gotten bold,” she teased. “It’s fine, though. It’s about to get busy, so you can use the break roomin the back. It’s rare for you to bring a friend over, so lunch is on the house.”
My mom is pretty understanding. She was probably worried because I’d been so down the past few days.
“Ichijou-san. It’s okay.”
I called out to my junior, who was waiting outside. She entered with a slightly nervous expression.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Ichijou Ai, Aono-senpai’s junior,” she said formally. “Senpai has always been a great help to me… I apologize for the sudden visit today.”
Her formal, visitor-like etiquette is impressive.My brother must have come out to tease me and get a look at my friend. He passed through the noren curtain and froze mid-stride.
“Oh, my…”
They’re probably just shocked I brought home such a cute girl. Miyuki is a beauty, sure, but… Ichijou-san is in a league of her own.By the way, my mom and brother have probably figured out that Miyuki and I broke up. I mean, I’ve been holed up in my room since my birthday.
“U-um…” Ichijou-san stammered, flustered by their stunned silence.
“I’m so sorry,” my mom said, snapping out of it. “I just didn’t expect Eiji to bring home such a cute girl… Please forgive the mess. Make yourself at home and eat whatever you like.”
My mom hurriedly finished cleaning the break room and welcomed us in.
Even though it’s just called a break room, it’s a decent size—a tatami room with a large table and a TV. In this day and age, there’s also free Wi-Fi for customers, so you can watch videos on your phone. My mom is a big fan of new things, so the restaurant accepts e-money, plays BGM with Alexa, and even has Netflix and YouTube on the break room TV.
I once asked her, “Why a Japanese-style room? Since it’s a Western restaurant, shouldn’t it be a Western-style room?” but apparently, tatami is more convenient for napping during breaks.
I always thought a room with such a lived-in feel lacked a bit of romance, but it’s the only private space in the restaurant, so it’s perfect for talking with Ichijou-san. Honestly, we might end up discussing things I’d rather my parents didn’t overhear.
“Make yourself at home, Ai-chan.”
I was a little surprised by my mom’s usual “auntie-power,” already calling Ichijou-san by her first name, but I was relieved when she quickly headed back to work, leaving a menu and cold water on the table.
“Just looking at pictures of hamburg steak and omurice is enough to make you happy, isn’t it? Senpai, do you have any recommendations?”“Ah, in that case, the lunch specialis good. It features our recommended omurice as the main dish, with a mini hamburg steak and a bite-sized Neapolitan spaghetti on the side.”
It was a lunch special my dad came up with—an all-star lineup of our top three most popular dishes. Both the omurice and the hamburg steak are served with a special demi-glace sauce that’s been left to sit overnight. The Neapolitan is the old-fashioned kind, with plenty of ketchup and wieners. It also comes with a salad and soup, so it’s what lunchtime customers almost always order.
“Heeh~” she murmured, her eyes sparkling. I felt a small sense of relief. Until now, I’d only seen a side of her that didn’t seem very high-school-girl-like or even age-appropriate.
I placed our order with my mom and returned to the break room. The contrast between this familiar, everyday scene and the extraordinarily beautiful girl sitting in it made me a bit dizzy, and I found myself making an excuse.
“Sorry about this. It’s a bit of a Showa-era place to bring a high school girl.”
“Not at all. In fact, it’s refreshing,” she replied. “Neither my family home nor the apartment I live in now has a Japanese-style room. It’s kind of fun sitting on tatami.”
She really is a rich girl.“Well, I’m glad. This is my mom and brother’s break room. They rest here for two hours between the lunch and dinner services.”
“So that’s why it feels so warm and lived-in. I’ve never really visited someone’s home before, so this is a new experience for me.”
“It’s a little embarrassing for me, though,” I admitted. “My family’s ‘colors’ are all over the place, with the TV for my mom’s foreign dramas and my brother’s cookbooks scattered about.”
“That’s a happy thing, you know. To have a family’s personality show in a house… that’s something I envy. Besides, I can tell just from your conversations that you’re close with your family.”
Her words hinted at a complicated family situation. High school students don’t usually use the phrase “family home.” She was probably living alone, away from her parents. At a private school with a strong sports program, it wouldn’t be unusual for students to live in a dorm, but our school is public. There must be a reason. But I wouldn’t ask.
She had been careful not to pry too deeply into my own affairs. On the way here, there were plenty of opportunities for her to ask questions, but she chose not to. That must have been her kindness, a sort of unspoken agreement not to ask about things we didn’t want to talk about.
“My home used to be a warm place like this, too,” she said, her nostalgic tone painful to hear. I knew I shouldn’t pry any deeper.
After about ten minutes of small talk, our food arrived. Being the most popular item on the menu, it’s always prepared to be served quickly.
“Here you go, Ai-chan, the lunch special. As a treat, you can choose either tea or coffee after your meal, so just let me know.”
Today’s soup was tonjiru—pork and vegetable miso soup. The soup changes daily, cycling between corn potage, consommé, and egg drop, among others. Tonjiru is especially popular, so we were in luck.
“I’ll have tea, please.”
Most customers choose coffee. However…
“Oh, Ai-chan! You’re a tea person! That makes me so happy. I am too, you know.”
My mom is a tea person. Whenever a customer chooses tea, her mood instantly improves. It’s so obvious.
In a clearly brusque manner, she silently placed the B-lunch I ordered in front of me. The disparity was pretty stark. By the way, the B-lunch is a set with special beef curry and a croquette. Of course, the curry also has demi-glace sauce as a secret ingredient.
“Well then, enjoy your meal. I’ll bring the tea when you’re finished,” she said, returning to work.
My junior glanced over at me, and I understood her look immediately. She wanted to start eating. I gave her a small nod as a signal, and she happily said, “Itadakimasu,” before taking her first bite…
After one taste of the omurice, the word “delicious” involuntarily escaped her lips. Her expression was so joyful, you’d never guess she was a girl who had been on the verge of death just a short while ago.
Her face was almost goddess-like. I felt a small sense of gratitude for the fate that allowed us to meet.
We ate our lunch in happy silence for a moment.
The tonjiru is delicious, as expected. A fusion of cultures—Western food and miso soup. It’s surprisingly popular, with our onion gratin soup and tonjiru being neck and neck for the top spot. Dad apparently added it to the daily soup menu, thinking, “I hope this can be a reward for the gloomy day that is Monday.” It’s a gentle soup, loaded with meat, root vegetables, and potatoes.
“The omurice, hamburg steak, and Neapolitan are all delicious,” she said. “But this tonjiru, in particular, is so comforting. Is this what they call ‘mom’s home cooking’?”
My junior seems to be very satisfied.
“This is a special recipe from my late father,” I explained, finding myself speaking with a hint of pride. “He made it by thoroughly simmering root vegetables and onions. Since it’s cooked in a large pot with lots of ingredients, the gentle umami is concentrated even with low-sodium miso, making it very satisfying.”
Unlike me, my dad was well-liked by everyone. He was the kind of person who actively participated in soup kitchens for the homeless, the elderly living alone, and children who didn’t have enough to eat, serving this very tonjiru at events organized by a local volunteer group. He was a kind father who would also rush to volunteer in areas affected by major earthquakes and floods. Locally, he was beloved and called the “Nameless Hero.”
He was truly a father to be proud of.
But that same father suddenly died of a heart attack in his forties when I was in my second year of middle school. He collapsed right in the middle of simmering a pot of tonjiru for a soup kitchen.In a way,it was so like him.Countless people attended his funeral: local city council members who sympathized with his philosophy, the mayor, regular customers, people from the volunteer group, and those who had eaten his tonjiru at the soup kitchen. So many people came. It was sad, but our family felt a sense of pride. We knew our father had lived by his ideals and passed away loved by everyone. Even now, my brother and mother continue his volunteer activities about once a month. They’re also looking into participating in children’s cafeterias.
“I see… I’m sorry. Was that insensitive of me?”
“No, not at all. In fact, I’m happy. It feels like you’re complimenting my late father.”
Hearing that, she spoke in a slightly brighter tone.
“I’m glad. He must have been a very kind father. This tonjiru tells me so. I can tell it was made with care over a long time. You’re the same, Senpai.”I had a gut feeling that Ichijou-san was probably a good cook herself. If you don’t cook regularly, you wouldn’t notice the quality of this tonjiru. The ingredients are common, but the flavor is brought out through careful preparation.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Yes! I’m so glad I got to eat such a gentle soup. I really mean that.”
I was able to look at her with a bit more peace of mind now. It seemed like my dad’s recipe was helping to fade her suicidal thoughts.
“The soup has free refills, you know.”
As I said that, I watched silently as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Senpai… is it okay for me to be alive?” she asked, her voice trembling. “I’ve been struggling for so long. I agonized over going to the rooftop today, preparing for it, and finally built up the resolve. But then you, a stranger I just met, risked danger to save me, I got to eat this delicious food, and… um, my resolve is finally wavering.”
Her words were heavy. I don’t know anything about her, so I have no right to answer. Still, as someone who was considering suicide myself, there’s only one answer I can give. Because she was there for me, I was saved too.
“I don’t know what happened to you, Ichijou-san, so I can only say irresponsible things.”
“You’re right. Being asked something like this out of the blue is just troublesome…”
“But… I want you to live, Ichijou-san. Because you were there, I was saved.”
She broke down crying without another word. Perhaps because she had been holding it in for so long, the tears didn’t stop for a long time.
“Mom… Mom…”
Watching her sob, calling for her mother, I felt like I was finally seeing the true, life-sized girl named Ichijou Ai.
※
My mom brought our after-meal tea. It was a flavored tea called Rosé and Strawberry.
It’s a tea flavored with rosé wine, with dried strawberries added to enhance the fruity notes. It’s my mom’s favorite, something she serves when entertaining important guests.
Ichijou-san had calmed down, as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and her wonderful smile had returned.
“Thank you for the meal. The lunch was delicious.”
“I’m glad. This tea is also my top recommendation from my collection,” my mom said. “It’s flavored with wine, but the alcohol has burned off, so even a minor can drink it, Ai-chan. It’s delicious without sugar, but adding a little bit just makes you feel happy.”
By the way, my mom is quite an Anglophile, with a preference for Scotch whisky and gin. On cold days, she’ll add a teaspoon of brandy or wine to her tea to make a hot cocktail. She won’t let me drink it, of course, but the brandy tea has none of the unpleasant smell of alcohol and enhances the aroma of the tea. Just the scent alone is enough to make me feel happy. I must have looked so envious that she found a similar non-alcoholic flavored tea for me at a tea shop, and that was the Rosé and Strawberry.
“It’s delicious!” Ichijou-san exclaimed. “The aroma is so rich, and it definitely tastes better with sugar than without!”
“Right? By the way, what kind of tea do you like, Ai-chan? For me, if it’s straight, it has to be Darjeeling.”
“I like Darjeeling too. Recently, I’ve gotten into Japanese black tea. For flavored teas, I like apricot or tropical fruit types…”
“Oh my! You have good taste. I’d love to take you to a recommended tea shop I know. Next door, there’s a café where you can try teas you’re interested in while having scones and cookies.”
“There’s such a charming place! Please take me there sometime.”
Ichijou-san had completely hit it off with my mom.
“I’m so happy. I’ve always wanted a daughter,” my mom beamed. “Be friends with me too, not just Eiji.”
“Yes!”
All I could do was offer a wry smile as the two of them got excited over their shared hobby.
※
“Well then, I should get going.”
After enjoying tea for about thirty minutes, Ichijou-san prepared to leave as the restaurant’s break time approached.
“I’ll walk you to the station.”
“It’s okay. If I have too much fun, it’ll just make me feel lonelier when it’s over,” she said with a mischievous smile. She was trying to brush it off, but her words held a heavy truth.
“I see. Well then, take care.”
Is it okay to let my junior, who was on the brink of death just a while ago, go home alone? I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.
“It’s okay,” she said, as if reading my mind. “Because I’ve gotten to know you. I have a reason to be here now.”
We didn’t say it out loud, but we both understood.
The worst is over. That’s what I felt.
“Hey, Senpai?”
“Hm?”
“We’re ‘friends’ now, right?”
“Of course. In a way, we became best friends in a single day.”
“Fufu, that makes me so happy,” she beamed. “I look forward to our friendship, Senpai!”
She politely said goodbye to my mom and brother, then stepped outside.
──Ichijou Ai’s Perspective──
I left Kitchen Aono.
That might have been the funnest two hours of my life. Remembering the face of my first-ever best friend, I walked toward the car that was waiting to pick me up.
“For now, being friends is enough, right?” I whispered to Senpai, who was too far away to possibly hear me.
“I’ve come to pick you up, Young Miss.”
The driver, Kuroi, was looking at me with a worried expression.
“Thank you.”
It was time to return to being a bird in a cage.
※
After Ichijou-san left, I went back to my room.
What should I do from tomorrow?
It’s obvious I should go to school. But I’m scared. I’d forgotten that fear while I was with her, but now that I’m alone, the loneliness and terror are washing over me again.
“Damn, I can’t stop shaking.”
Just walking down the hallway invites insults from students I don’t even know. My shoe locker is stuffed with trash. After enduring all that, when I finally reach the classroom, I’m met with cold stares that say, “Why is this guy here again today?” or “Can’t he take a hint and just quit?” I’m continuously ignored, getting more and more mentally cornered. Flowers are placed on my desk, and I have to sit through classes staring at all the graffiti.
I can only think of negative things, and every breath is a sigh. The proficiency test is coming up, but I’m in no state to study. I want to cry. Having one junior on my side is a great comfort, but what’s scary is still scary.
I’m just so sleepy. I’ve heard that when a person’s mental state is about to break, they become endlessly lethargic and no amount of sleep is ever enough. That might be what’s happening to me.
I don’t know how much Ichijou-san’s presence saved me today. Only when I was talking to her could I forget this pain.
My phone rang again. It’s probably just another mental attack from a throwaway account. It’s too much of a hassle to block them all, so I’ll just delete my account. With that thought, I managed to open my phone. But what I found wasn’t despair, but another glimmer of hope.
Yo, Eiji. You okay? My phone broke during the expedition. I’m really sorry.The message was just rugged text and symbols. It was from my childhood friend, someone I’ve known as long as Miyuki—my male best friend.Imai Satoshi.
Satoshi is in the science stream, so our classes are separate, but we’ve been good friends since elementary school.
“Somehow,” I barely managed to reply.
Good. Anyway, can we meet after your club activity ends? At the usual family restaurant.His messages are always concise. But his words were the same as always, unchanged from before this whole incident started.
“Okay.”
I’ve been so scared. After being betrayed by Miyuki, I felt that if Satoshi betrayed me too, I would have nothing left. My classmates and club members, people I thought I was close with, had all easily turned their backs on me.
Satoshi might… betray me too.But I knew he would treat me the same as always. Just that was enough to make me want to cry.
※
“Yo, Eiji. Over here, over here.”
I found Satoshi at our usual cheap family restaurant. It should have been his club time, but he probably snuck out for me. He has a solid build, but an intelligent face that suits his glasses. He’s the ace of the archery club and also the captain of the shogi club, whose advisor is Takayanagi-sensei. A guy who excels in both academics and sports, always ranking in the single digits on tests. He’s a pretty high-spec, perfect-superman type.
Usually, he’d be munching on french fries, but today he’d only ordered from the drink bar.
“You were fast.”
“Yeah, well, a friend’s in a crisis. That takes priority over club activities.”
From his tone, it seemed Satoshi knew what was going on to some extent. Maybe words of rejection are coming. The thought made me scared.
As I sat down, Satoshi immediately bowed his head.
“I’m sorry, Eiji!! I couldn’t even notice your emergency. I’m a failure as a friend. Forgive me!!”
Satoshi, who was usually so rational, was uncharacteristically emotional.
“Eh?”
“I don’t really use social media, so I had no idea those weird slanders were going around. Our classes got separated in the second year… and my club’s expedition overlapped, so I didn’t know what you had been through until after school. You always helped me… but I couldn’t be there for you when you needed help the most. I’m really sorry!”
I had never seen Satoshi like this before.
Why… why…“Satoshi, do you… believe me?”
“Yeah. A junior from my club showed me the posts written about you after school. But I knew right away they were fake. I mean, you’ve never once laid a hand on a girl. And we’re talking about Miyuki here. No way. There’s no way you’d do something like that. This has to be some kind of mistake.”
“…”
Satoshi’s words sent my emotions into a jumble.
“I rushed to check with a club member in your class, and he said you disappeared before today’s school assembly and left early. I went straight to your homeroom teacher, Takayanagi-sensei. I was planning to punch him if he tried to abandon you or cover this up.”
The thought of Satoshi getting suspended or expelled because of me made the blood drain from my face. It’s often said that schools have a culture of covering up problems like this. That’s why I was about to give up, too. You can’t rely on adults. That’s just common sense.
“So, what did the teacher say?”
Satoshi’s angry expression softened into one of worry. He hesitated for a moment before continuing.
“Takayanagi-sensei… he was surprisingly worried about you, Eiji. It seems he also grasped the situation this morning and was meeting with several students after school to gather information. But he was getting impatient because he wasn’t learning much.”
“…” I nodded.
“The teacher, he usually has that unmotivated look on his face, but when I went to see him, he was unusually serious. He asked me, ‘Please. If you know anything at all about what happened to Aono, tell me.’ He knew you and I have been close since elementary school. So, I told him about the post my junior showed me. Sorry for doing that without consulting you.”
Satoshi was probably being considerate of my pride. I slowly shook my head.
“Then, the teacher said this: ‘If you can, please tell Aono this. It might be scary, but please rely on us adults. I will take responsibility and resolve this issue. So, just for a little while, please believe in me.’”
Hearing those words, I felt the ice around my heart gradually begin to melt. There, in front of my best friend, I let all my pent-up emotions explode. The tears wouldn’t stop.
──Miyuki’s Perspective──
I left school early and came to Kitchen Aono to properly apologize to Eiji. But now, I’m scared to go in. I used to enter so casually, but now it feels like there’s an invisible wall.
As I stood there wondering what to do, I sensed someone coming out from inside and hurriedly hid myself. It was a girl in the same school uniform.
That thieving cat from before!But as I stared at her face, I realized she was someone completely unexpected.
“Ichijou, Ai?”
Why is the school’s idol here?
She excels in academics and arts and comes from a distinguished family. She enrolled with the highest score in the school’s history, nearly a perfect score on the entrance exam. And yet, I’d heard she was famous for hating men and had rejected every single confession.
I didn’t want to believe it, but I understood perfectly. Because I’m the one who drowns in romance.
She definitely had the face of a woman who had fallen in love.
It was easy to imagine who that love was directed at. It could only be Eiji, whose charm I thought only I understood. Why, why, why is it her? Of all people, why Ichijou Ai!?There’s no way I can win. In every aspect, she’s in a different dimension from me. If I don’t hurry, Eiji will be taken from me. With that thought, I started to move, determined to see him quickly.
However, the door opened again.
The one who came out was Eiji’s mother.
“Oh, Miyuki-chan. What are you doing hiding in a place like this?” she asked with a smile, her tone the same as always.
But while she was smiling, her eyes weren’t.
I immediately understood what Eiji’s mother thought of me.
Pure anger and disappointment. Why is that directed at me? Don’t tell me Eiji told her?“Hello, Oba-san,” I said, trying my best to return the usual greeting. I wanted to believe it was just my imagination. Trembling inwardly, I forced a strained smile.
“Yes, hello. What can I do for you?”
I faltered at the coldness in her gaze. Normally, when she saw me, she’d say, “It’s Eiji, right? I’ll go get him right away.”
“Um, is Eiji…”
“He’s inside, but what do you want with him?” she replied instantly, her voice cold.
“Well…” Her overly cold reaction made me hesitate.
“I’m sorry. I know that as a parent, I shouldn’t get too involved in your relationship, but.”
I almost cried at her thoroughly business-like tone of rejection.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll know if you ask your own heart, right? Actually, I noticed you were cheating before Eiji did.”
Those sharp words froze my heart. Cheating. And before Eiji knew. Why, what does she mean?“…” I heard the sound of the blood draining from my face.
“You see, I was having tea at a shopping district gathering, and I saw you walking hand-in-hand with a man who wasn’t Eiji.”
“…” I screamed in my heart. No, Oba-san has always been so good to me. She was always kind, and cared more about me than Eiji did. And I…“Of course, unless you’re married, love is legally free,” she continued. “You’re high school students, so you might hurt each other. You might drift apart. I thought Eiji was just keeping quiet because it was hard to say. I thought you two had unfortunately agreed to break up.”
With a strange sweat on my back, I tried to form some words, but no excuse would come out.
“I realized that perception was wrong on Eiji’s birthday. Eiji had been saying since the day before that he was going on a date with you. And then he came home with a look of despair and shut himself in his room. That’s when I knew. You had betrayed Eiji.”
I knew very well that no excuse would work on Oba-san, who has far more life experience than I do. I just gasped, unable to form words, letting out a silent scream.
“That’s not it, that’s…”
“I know. You might have your side of the story. But I have no obligation to hear it. I don’t want to hate you any more than I already do, so could you please stop with the lame excuses?”
I felt like I was being slowly strangled, steadily cornered.
“I’m sorry,” I barely managed to say, looking down to hold back my tears.
“I don’t want to hear that apology. We’ve known each other for over ten years, so let me give you one last piece of advice. Love is free. But no one has the right to play with or trample on pure affection. It may not be a crime, but I think it’s a heavier sin. From now on, at least have some integrity.”
“…Could you let me see Eiji?”
She replied with a voice tinged with anger.
“No. What mother would forgive a cheating woman who trampled on her precious son’s affection? I’m not that nice. I think it’s ultimately Eiji’s decision. But at the very least, don’t show your face in front of me again. You are not worthy of my son.”
The blunt rejection made my emotions crumble. In a way, Oba-san had been like a mother to me. The late Oji-san, too. And her older son… The person who treated me like family was now telling me never to come back. Those words of rejection became the trigger for something important inside me to shatter.
Like a broken toy, I collapsed onto the sidewalk.
“No, no…”
As I sobbed like a baby, Oba-san came to deliver the final blow.
“I’m sorry. This is in front of the restaurant. Your crying is disturbing our business. Please move along.”
She took down the noren curtain, signaling the end of the lunch service, gave me one last glance, and said, “Goodbye, Miyuki-chan,” confronting me with the fact that things could never go back to how they were.
It should have been “See you later,” like always.
I couldn’t move for a long time. The tears wouldn’t stop. Because I had collapsed on the asphalt, my knees were bright red. They should have been stinging, but strangely, I didn’t feel any pain.
My heart was dead.
Somehow, I fled from Kitchen Aono and went home.
Mom should be on the night shift today. I don’t want to see her, but she’s definitely home.
“I’m home.”
After a short greeting, my mother, who was watching a variety show, turned to me with her usual smile.
“Oh, welcome back. You’re early today.”
Those words further wounded my desolate heart.
“Yeah, Eiji wasn’t feeling well, so I went to check on him.” The guilt of lying to my mother intensified my self-loathing.
“Oh, you two are still lovey-dovey. That’s good. You’ve been saying you were going to be Eiji-kun’s bride since you were little. You’re having a good youth.”
Those casual words pierced my heart like a weapon, forcibly intensifying my longing for that place I could never return to.
“Yeah. Stop reminding me of embarrassing things.”
Normally, my mother’s lighthearted jokes would have made me feel embarrassed but happy. Now, they were like a sharp knife.
Yes, I knew since I was little. I should have known.
Last year, when Eiji confessed to me, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was supposed to be with him forever. We’d study hard for exams together and go to the same university. Once we were there, we’d skip class a little and go on dates to all sorts of places. We’d get part-time jobs and splurge a little on each other’s birthdays and Christmas. Even after becoming adults, we might fight sometimes, but once we got used to our jobs, we’d probably get married, create a happy family, and grow old together. I was supposed to have been having such childish but happy fantasies this whole time.
“Sorry, the proficiency test is coming up, so I’ll be studying in my room.”
“Oh, is that so. I’ll be leaving soon, so I made curry for dinner. It’s in the fridge. Heat it up and eat it.”
“Okay, thanks! Work hard.”
I barely managed to say and fled to my room.
I had betrayed not only Eiji and his family, but my mother as well. I was finally confronted with the weight of what I had done. The happy future I had imagined will never come.
I locked my door and collapsed onto my bed. With sadness and self-loathing for how tainted I had become, I clenched my fists tightly. My nails dug deep into my palms, and blood dripped onto the pink duvet.
I heard the voice of another me, one who loathed the part of me that had drowned in passion.
‘You’re the worst. Why do you keep betraying such important people!!’It’s a fair question. I resent the goodwill and reason that barely remain within me. There’s nothing I can do now. It can’t be helped if I’m told that. But I’m hurt too, so what can I do?
My scraped knees finally started to throb with pain. My spirit was stained with despair, and I could feel my heart heading in a bad direction.
No. I can’t be swept away by this wave of emotion. My weakened reason desperately tried to hold me back, but the wallsof my heart had already been broken once—when Kondou-senpai came on to me. It was impossible to hold back the feelings that were pulling me into darkness.
‘What’s the point of caring about Eiji now? It’s too late.’‘It’s too late for me, the one who betrayed Eiji, to act all innocent now, right?’‘Are you trying to be the only victim? Eiji is having a harder time, isn’t he?’‘In the first place, on top of cheating, you helped frame Eiji and isolate him. There’s no way you can be forgiven for that, right?’The me inside my heart hurled verbal abuse. My weak heart was at its limit. I ran away. I took the easy way out.
Right now, I just wanted kind words. With trembling hands, I reached out for help.
To Kondou-senpai.
“Senpai, I want to see you.”
As if clinging to him, I spoke strongly to myself, the part of me flowing in the easy direction, even though it was just a thought.
“I have no other choice. For the worst version of me, this is the only option left!!”I have no choice but to cling to the kind him. Let’s become the worst kind of woman. I have no other choice. Having hit rock bottom, I have no way to stop my desires.
I took the picture of me and Eiji at the entrance ceremony from my desk and cried silently while clutching it to my chest.
I should just tear it up. But even as I thought that, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
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